My Motorcycle Injuries

My daughter told me a story about myself the other day. It involved my time in the hospital years ago, just after I had become more coherent. The guy in charge of the church services during my absence was in the hospital room and I apparently told him that I was certain that I would be ready to take charge of the worship services on the upcoming Sunday. At the time I had been kept unconscious for over a week and I had been put through roughly a dozen surgeries. I was physically unable to get out of bed for any reason and I was unable to function physically in any practical way. I could barely speak coherently because my mind was in a drug induced haze and my jaw was wired shut. My daughter said that he gave me a quiet "alright" sort of answer and things moved on. I was obviously not in my right mind, but part of the problem must have stemmed from the fact that I never really think that I'm down for the count in anything that I do. I checked with that same guy the other da...

  Time is a weird thing. It defines our lives in so many ways, yet it can only carry as much significance as we allow within our hearts and minds.  The past several weeks have been both demanding and fleeting. I've been really busy both professionally and personally, and at times it seems as though each day is a dream that passes as quickly as it occurs. I've always seen July 4th as a point in the year that ends a host of holidays and events, while also being a point on the calendar that ushers in everything that leads to the "holiday season" and the culmination of a year's events. It's sort of a beginning of the end within each year for me. I know, I'm freakishly exhibiting a weird philosophical vibe here. The thing is that time is moving quickly and it continues to leave the past even further back. This accident of mine continues to effect my body in everchanging negative ways as life progresses, but time also continues to move me further away from a lot...

 One of my brothers-in-law is in the hospital with a very serious condition. It's the same hospital that I was taken to almost ten years ago because of the motorcycle accident. At 51 years of age he has had a stroke. After they cleared out two blood clots from his brain, he had a heart attack. The following day he experienced trouble with his breathing and they discovered that he had a combination of pneumonia and congestive heart failure, along with more blood clots in his brain and heart. Things looked bad for him, but he is now slowly recovering as the medical people continue to work hard while his loved ones continue to pray. I cannot help but to think of what it will take for him to become more fully functional within his physical and mental capacities. His rehabilitation process has already begun, but I still wonder what it is that lies ahead for him as he deals with the aftereffects of these things that have happened to his body. I have been observing the heartache that his ...

One of my sisters-in law is facing a very difficult time with her mother. Her mom is in the hospital ICU with multiple health issues and has been subjected to several medical and surgical procedures. She has been placed on pain medication and is a little confused as a result. I realize that every ordeal comes with its own details according to the people involved and all of the specific circumstances, but I feel as though there are certain similarities to my past. She faces her own battle, and I don't want to sound presumptuous, but I do feel that there are enough similarities to my situation eight years ago that allow for me to comment. If I were asked for advice on what it is that my sister-in-law (or you) should consider when dealing with her mother's time in the hospital, these few points would be my simple advice. 1.     Be certain to inform her of major details concerning her medical care. Don’t allow her to get lost within the maze of things being done to her body. S...

I get so tired of being tired. I woke up about four times last night. I haven't slept right since the accident, and last night was super annoying because I kept falling back asleep (lightly) and then waking up after just a little while. I got out of bed this morning and went through my exercise routine. It only took about forty-five minutes. Next up was breakfast, a ton of typing for my job, and working on some online Christmas shopping. I then had lunch, followed by some gardening work out in the front yard of my house. When I was finished I came inside to do some more online browsing. Sounds mundane, yes? Why then do I feel as though I've been hiking in the Andes for a week with no food or shelter? I hate the thought of going to bed tonight because I can't stand the torment involved in "sorta" sleeping. I feel so sore and burned out physically that it's starting to effect my mental aptitude. In other words, I'm feeling as though my mental state just isn...

I don't believe that I live in a world where absolutely nobody can possibly understand what I go through from day to day with the physical and mental distractions that are caused by my accident injuries. I'm certain that there are plenty of people who understand exactly what I go through from day to day. It's just that I haven't really run into those people yet. I'm not all that complex of a person and the things that I go through aren't very deep in any way. It's just that the feelings that I experience, both physical and mental, are a part of me and no one that I have ever spoken to is even close to being in the "place" that I'm in.  Some folks can be extremely sympathetic. I can see it on their faces when I answer a question regarding my physical state and everything that happened to me in the accident. Other folks only seem to ask about my injuries in order to use them as a conversational springboard to talk about things that they have pers...

Tonight I had dinner with over a dozen family members at a burger restaurant nearby. We sat outside because of the size of our group and we had a nice time together. Our table was located about twenty feet from the entrance to the place where I got my haircut on the morning of the accident. The crash occurred as I rode home from getting a haircut at that place. I have absolutely no memory of the haircut or the ride to and from this place, but I’m a creature of habit so I know pretty much where I pulled in and where I parked. It is currently an empty storefront (thank you Covid-19) but the place looks the same as it did years ago. I sat in a chair at the dinner table tonight that had me facing directly toward the front entrance of the former storefront. It makes me feel stupid, but I kept thinking that this was the last place that I walked without having so many problems with my body. I knew where I would have gone between the front door and my bike in the parking lot, and I couldn’t ...

Yeah, that's actually my selfie on a couch, with my internet anonymity kept intact. The title of this blog entry involves a term that I've grown accustomed to using often. People ask me how I'm feeling and how my body is managing all the time. It's become a bit of a cliche' for me to answer when anyone asks me about my physical condition. I usually answer with a sense of flippancy because I just want to move past the moment. I only talk about my physical condition in any detail with my wife and with you, my little internet friends.  The truth is that I'm not always fine. My hip, thigh, and knee/shin areas hurt or feel discomfort according to my body's mood for the day. My hand is a mess and provides some sort of pain or hindrance every day. As for my mind, there are times when I grow really tired of having been in an accident years ago. There's nowhere to escape from it, you know? The thing is that "I'm fine" is a little bit of a lie. I try...

Today is a little more unique for me. On the one hand it’s my birthday, so it’s a time to count my blessings and celebrate a little (yeah, no question that I’m breaking the diabetic diet). On the other hand today marks my final entry on this blog at WordPress, so it feels a little weird to be letting go of a familiar place that has facilitated something that has become somewhat of a meaningful project and a personal outlet for me. Bluehost/WordPress has become too expensive for me to justify the cost, so in September my contract runs out with them and I’ll allow this blog to be shut down there. I'm moving everything over to a different blogging website over the next few weeks. If it doesn't work out, I'll just find another way to express myself concerning the motorcycle accident and all of its aftermath in my life. Maybe I'll take up flying and try skywriting; who knows?    [Addendum: I moved it here to BLOGGER and no, I never did learn how to skywrite with an airplane]...

Why, you may ask, do I feel like using British slang? Because my wife and daughter are presently binge-watching a TV show made in England and I’m in a good mood. I had a visit today with the endocrinologist. COVID-19 has really changed the way in which these visits are done. I had to sign a couple of forms confirming that I have been, am, and will always be germ and illness free. I had to have my temperature taken before they would allow me to sit in the waiting room. Everyone within the building was wearing a mask and gloves. I was eventually seated in the examination room, but in the farthest corner of the room, away from doctors and nurses alike. I felt as though I was in trouble and thought for sure that they would place an old-fashioned dunce cap on my head and make me clean a chalk board later. The doctor wouldn’t even physically touch me. The whole thing was a real freak show, but it made me laugh a little inside. Anyway, the point of this post is to report that my diabetes ...

                                                                  The dude in the photo above is called Ultraman. I watched movies that included him as the central character when I was a kid. Back then my brother and I thought that he was uber-cool as he fought against all kinds of evil entities with a hint of martial arts mixed in with ray blasts that he emitted from his arm when he stood in the pose above. I’ll be 57 years old soon, and now all I see is an actor dressed in a corny outfit that dates back to old Japanese films similar to the Godzilla movies. Yeah, the times they have a-changed. I had gotten a little slack in my exercise routine over the past year or so, and it was becoming evident through the condition of my body in the way that I was able to handle the various injury aftereffects. It hadn't hurt my A1C leve...

Two days ago my car flashed a couple of warning lights on the dashboard. It started running really rough but I made it home safely. I waited until the next morning to see what was wrong, but the majority of the problems (along with the lights) disappeared. I’m hoping that it was all an unfortunate anomaly and the car will go on without any further incidents. The car was a gift given to me by my church family. They felt that I should have a vehicle because I spend so much time alone at home since the accident. Everyone chipped in and they gave me enough money to buy a used car at a local dealership. They are all very generous and very kind. So, when I experienced a mechanical problem the other day, my mind went back to the period of time before the accident when my wife and I were trying to decide on what to buy as a second vehicle. The reason that we chose to get a motorcycle is stated in the  my story  page of this blog. We felt that a used car would provide too many mechanic...

I read on the local news today that a guy died this morning in a motorcycle accident not too far from where I live. He rode into the back of a car and died at the scene. I’ve thought about it from time to time throughout the day. The thing is that when I hear of something like this it causes me to question my existence a little. In truth, I can’t explain or understand why it is that I didn’t die six years ago, and for whatever reason it troubles me a little. I’ve been told countless times by medical professionals that I should have died, but I don’t really have an answer as to why I’m still here. I really don’t have a clue as to why it is that some people live and some people die. I’m a theologian by calling and profession. I can understand and use terms such as divine providence, mercy, grace, and fate. I have listened while others have told me that “God wasn’t finished with you yet”, and “He still has something left for you to do”. Still, I really have no idea why I’m alive while a g...

I keep seeing commercials on television that call for people to donate blood during this time of crisis with the coronavirus. I’ve tried to donate blood twice since the accident. They got the needle in me the first time, but a relatively minuscule amount of blood poured into the bag before it stopped flowing and they called it quits. They didn’t even bother putting the needle into my arm the second time about a year later. I was told that my veins wouldn’t support the thicker needle used to draw blood. I’ve wanted to donate blood for the past six years in order to honor the fact that I was given an enormous amount of blood in the hospital during the first week after the accident. If it were possible, I would donate blood several times a year. This past week I actually considered going to the local blood bank in order to give it another try, but my rational mind tells me that I’ll be wasting time…again. They have a hard time just getting a few vials of blood out of me when I need to get...

So yeah, the nation is going a little nutty concerning the coronavirus (COVID-19). I absolutely agree that we should be observant, cautious, and responsible. What I don’t fully understand is some of the things currently happening such as the toilet paper rush. My guess would be that people are preparing in case of a mandatory quarantine being put into place by the government under emergency measures. I assume that old leaves and pages from a Sears catalogue just won’t do the trick any more. At least everyone will have enough hand sanitizer to spray on their charcoal grills when the fire won’t cooperate a year from now, right? The title of this blog entry is a Latin phrase and it literally translates “remember you must die”. Figuratively, it is a phrase that signifies a reminder of our mortality and can be symbolized through things such as artwork. It’s an old phrase that dates back to ancient Rome. Having experienced a horrific motorcycle accident and knowing that I wasn’t really e...

Here’s a weird thing concerning today’s topic…consistent pain is easier to manage than pain that comes and goes with time and activity. My mind can adapt to consistent pain and learn to ignore it. It’s something that you sort of train yourself to live with. On the other hand, occasional or circumstantial pain leaves no reasonable time for mental adjustment or adaptation. The problem is that my brain relaxes, enjoys life, and then has to cope with the onslaught of pain all over again. Yesterday was an unusually difficult day for me. To be truthful, I experience some level of pain somewhere on my body every day. The motorcycle accident caused enough injuries to leave my body with several options for pain location and severity daily. It’s usually something that can easily be considered as “mild pain”, but yesterday the discomfort involved a greater degree of pain with my pelvis and my lower leg. It all became a hindrance to being able to walk normally as the day progressed. I was also fee...

I had two days off this past week from watching my baby niece because she got the flu. Thankfully, the medication given to her worked well and she is on her way to a good recovery. She was with me yesterday and seems to be back to her normal, happy self. The past few days granted to me the time for a bit of mental insight as to where things stand for me physically. I started taking care of my niece about a year ago, and before then I tried to live a fairly cautious existence. I consistently stayed home a lot and tried to make certain that I didn’t push my body too far. But…taking care of my niece has completely changed the way that I spend my time throughout any given day. She requires an enormous amount of time, effort, and energy. I spend my days doing things that I never really thought that I would be doing, including crawling around the house on my bad knee. Consequently, I think that my view of my own potential has been expanded over the past year. I’m starting to think that when ...

So yeah, today marks the beginning of a new month. Consequently, it also marks the end of a long January that was filled with medical stuff; things that involved blood samples, big machines, exams, and doctors who barely know me but control a lot of things in my life that include pills and money. Sounds like a cheesy made-for-tv movie, yes? The end result for all of my January adventures involves good health, happy doctors, and nothing changed within my mortal existence. I get tired by midday often, and my leg is feeling brittle at the knee, but overall I’m in pretty good shape…you know, despite the whole aches and pains thing. Strange, but lately I think about riding from time to time when I see someone on a motorcycle. I know (intellectually) that I really have no desire or need to ride at this stage in life, but my mind takes me back to the point that something was taken away from me through the carelessness of another driver six years ago. I feel so stupid when I think this way, bu...

January will be a little busier than usual for me concerning medical visits. I went for my annual CT scan last week, and I will need to go for a five vial bloodletting within a week from now for the sake of diabetic testing. I’ll then have to go for an appointment with my endocrinologist to make certain that the numbers related to the blood tests are acceptable. I’ll finish the month with an annual appointment with my cardiologist that involves an electrocardiogram along with a general physical exam that will involve things related to heart health.  I’ve already been informed by phone that the CT scan showed that the stent in my aorta shows no sign of movement or leakage. Good news, yes? I realize that all of these things are a necessity, but I grow tired of it all. It interferes with my schedule, involves needles and sticky things attached to chest hair that are pulled off with a sense of disregard, requires money because of insurance deductibles, and serves to remind me that the ...

Christmas will be here in just under a week. This is always a very busy time of the year for me and my family. Things get a little hectic and demanding between ministry events, family activities and obligations, and our home in general. It’s been a bit of a ride, but I know that everything will work out well in the end. It’s a little odd how we take such a wonderful event in spiritual history and turn it into such a time of personal commotion. Human nature, I guess. My body has been telling me that it doesn’t appreciate all of the holiday activity, but I don’t really have the privilege of listening to it right now. I have far too much to do between today and next Wednesday. I’m thinking of taking a break more toward the weekend after Christmas, but I’ll have to wait and see what everyone needs from me before I lay me down to rest. I don’t really know why exactly, but my mind keeps drifting back to where I was at this time six years ago. I keep seeing mental pictures of the things that ...