Metamorphosis

Today is a little more unique for me. On the one hand it’s my birthday, so it’s a time to count my blessings and celebrate a little (yeah, no question that I’m breaking the diabetic diet). On the other hand today marks my final entry on this blog at WordPress, so it feels a little weird to be letting go of a familiar place that has facilitated something that has become somewhat of a meaningful project and a personal outlet for me. Bluehost/WordPress has become too expensive for me to justify the cost, so in September my contract runs out with them and I’ll allow this blog to be shut down there. I'm moving everything over to a different blogging website over the next few weeks. If it doesn't work out, I'll just find another way to express myself concerning the motorcycle accident and all of its aftermath in my life. Maybe I'll take up flying and try skywriting; who knows?   [Addendum: I moved it here to BLOGGER and no, I never did learn how to skywrite with an airplane]

It’s always felt a little strange writing about my injuries on this blog. I really don’t talk about these things with anyone in the real world. I’ve always been more of a 'fight quietly and endure life' kind of guy. Still, I’ve enjoyed writing my thoughts and keeping an online journal of sorts. I do have one last thought to share on WordPress before I get shut down in September...

I have counseled people for a long time as the pastor of a church. When dealing with all of the things that people have brought up (a bad marriage, betrayal from a friend, a hurt relative, a traumatic event from years past, etc.) there has occasionally been a very small part of me deep inside that thought, “why does this person hang on to such things? Why allow it to linger for so long and have it cause further trouble and pain? Why don’t they let go and move on with life?”      It's not nearly as cold as thinking “get over it”, but still…

I honestly don’t think that way anymore. I understand something now that I didn’t see clearly before the motorcycle accident. Here’s the thing; there are events in our lives that become a part of us. We can expect to be able to let go of those things as easily as we would expect to be able to let go of a leg or a lung. It’s not that we want to hang on to those events, experiences, or people. Instead, the fact is that we’re not really given the choice. It just becomes a part of us.

This accident, the one that I don’t even have any memory of having occured, along with the injuries involved in the aftermath, has become an undeniable part of my existence. For good or for bad, I can’t let go of it and move along. That’s why I’ve blogged about it. I know that I live a very fulfilling life, and that I live life with the joy that the Lord places within my heart, but the accident is an undeniable part of me that I believe will continue to be a part of me for the remainder of my mortal existence. It has helped me to be more compassionate and understanding with others and it has helped me to be a better servant of God. At the same time, I wake up with it in the morning and go to bed with it at night. It’s just…a part of me. I no longer wonder why people hang on to certain things. I understand in a better way that we are sometimes bound to our past experiences and simply have to learn to place those things within the proper space in our hearts. God’s grace allows for a life that does not become hindered by past experiences, but also a life that does not ignore the reality of those experiences. I think that this is a key toward better recovery and victorious living.

Well, that’s about it for now on WordPress. Maybe one day I’ll actually talk to someone about these things face to face, but for now I’ll just keep typing my thoughts and living with a degree of anonymity on the internet. My wife is going to help me to get things set up with another blogging host website soon enough. Oh, and rest assured that I’ll be gorging out on some cake and ice cream tonight!