My Motorcycle Injuries

 A friend of mine at church approached me a few days ago in order to gain some perspective concerning her son. He is an adult, married with children, who has been through a major physical trauma that almost cost him his life. His recovery process has been lengthy and challenging, but he continues to make progress and regain the use of his body. The circumstances of his trauma are quite different than mine (illness rather than accident), but the process of surgery and recovery is similar. This friend of mine asked me if I was more "emotional" after the motorcycle accident as I faced the long period of recovery. I have never spoken to anyone about this, so I hesitated for a slight moment and then answered her honestly with a "yes". I knew that I couldn't withhold this aspect of my recovery from her because she was very much worried about her son's condition. He had told her about the things that he is experiencing with his emotions, and she was quite worried a...

Over time I have griped on this blog about the subtle but steady decline of my various motorcycle injury aftereffects. The various issues that I face daily aren't a huge deal when compared to the things that other people face in this life, but they are often a source of physical annoyance. They often leave me wondering what these things will be like in the coming years as I continue to age.  I've been busy with things these past couple of weeks, and they are the type of tests that help me to assess where it is that things stand within my body. I've been cutting and trimming trees, moving Christmas supplies (don't ask), and doing general maintenance things around my house and the church. I haven't had a problem with any of the labor, and I feel pretty good when I finish each chore. Tired, but good. I've felt fine with all of the busy work over the past weeks, and I'm convinced that the best way to see where things stand is to get busy living. These are the ty...

Eight months ago I took a nasty spill in my kitchen. Not with milk, but rather with my body. I wrote about it in this blog that same day. The fall occurred when my foot hit a small, yea, miniscule blotch of water on the tile floor. My "accident leg" isn't really strong enough to remain stable when something like that happens, and I went down hard. I thought that I had broken my hip, but things got better daily and in time I thought that it was nothing. I now believe that it's something. The hip in question hurts from time to time as I function throughout the day, and I often feel pain that causes me to have to roll over to the other side when I lay on it in bed. The real drag about this is that the other side involves the hip that was broken in the accident and repaired surgically with metal screws. That side has been painful for years. What's that you're thinking, gentle reader?  "Hey bonehead, just lay flat on your back instead of on your side when in b...

It is said that time marches on. It feels as though it actually runs along as I grow older. A week seems like a day, and I feel as though things are constantly rushing forward. I continue to experience changes within my body, but at this stage those changes are all pretty much negative. I feel more pain because of the old injuries from the motortcycle accident, more aging because of calenders, and seemingly less time to keep up with a great deal of things in life. My leg and my hips are hurting more as time progresses, and my hand gets worse despite the fact that an orthopedic hand specialist and a neurologist have both told me that there's nothing seriously wrong and that nothing can actually be fixed. I function pretty well physically with everything that I do, but I feel "uncomfortable" all of the time. I have discovered recently that the two orthopedic surgeons that I had considered for any future surgery are now both irrelevent to my cause. One of them left his forme...

 I knew a lady years ago who described herself as someone who would not accept a lot of attention or help when she was sick. She would say that she was comparable to a dog that would crawl under a porch when it was injured and growl at anyone who would come close in order to help it. I've honestly never been one to need or desire much when I'm sick or injured either, so please bear that in mind while reading this post. I sometimes think back to the time when I was at home attempting to get through the worst of times with my motorcycle accident injuries. I was alone during the day throughout the workweek, and I was for a time unable to do much physically beyond standing up in front of my wheelchair with the aid of a walker for the sake of a short break from sitting in the same position for too long a period of time. The thing is that I sometimes think back to that time period with a subtle sense of fondness. Weird, right? One of the strange things that seems sentimental to me is...

  I've been dealing with leg pains over the past several months during the night. I mean, I always have leg pains, but I rarely experience any prominent pain while either waking up in the night or just plain not sleeping. I've had serious issues with improper sleep since the accident, but I've never really felt any annoyingly noticeable pain in my leg during the night. Now...yeah, I do. I sometimes can't find a comfortable position that lasts for more than five or ten minutes. The nightly pain doesn't hurt to the extent that I want to scream or anything like that. It's just that the pain is enough to cause me to constantly change my physical position as I search for some semblance of comfort. It's a new thrill that serves to remind me that my life is slowly creeping toward the day when I have to undergo another round of surgery.  Maybe I'll ask a nurse to photograph the procedure for me for the sake of this blog when the time comes for surgery. I should ...

My previous post had me stating that I knew practically nothing regarding arthritis of the knee and the pains associated with it. I stated that I didn't believe that I've developed arthritis yet. Yeah, I was dead wrong. I looked it up online and the list below describes the things that are involved with arthritis of the knee. I have every single thing on the list, including the "when it's worse" section, except for the bone spurs. I mean, come on, every single thing except one? Sheesh. I feel that I am currently at the so-called moderate level of progress, so I believe that I get to wait a while longer as I keep an eye on the symptoms and determine a proper time for further action. I found online an orthopedic surgeon close to me that takes my current health insurance plan and I hope that we'll both be much older before I ever have to contact him. My motorcycle accident injuries have really caused some damage, and time seems to be proving itself to be a challe...

  Years ago I was told by my original orthopedic surgeon that I should call him when my knee hurt. A year later a different surgeon told me that what the other surgeon meant was that I would eventually develop arthritis in my knee and would require a knee replacement. I have no frame of reference to know what arthritis actually feels like, but I don't believe that I have developed it yet. Eleven or twelve years later I really don't think that I have any issues with arthritic pain. Instead, I'm feeling sharp pains and instability. My knee gets around well enough most of the time, but there are moments when it feels as though my knee is being stabbed while at other times it feels as though my leg is going to separate into two pieces at the knee. Also, there are times as though it's too weak to hold me up when I'm standing, and too weak to lift me up when I'm sitting. It's nothing that I can describe as arthritic pain, but rather pain and weakness that feels as...

My motorcycle accident caused the femur in my left leg to break into two pieces near the center. It's the strongest bone in the human body but yeah, it broke in half. That's a picture of it above👆. I went to see an orthopedic surgeon a year after the accident because I was feeling pain in the center of my thigh and I thought that perhaps the bone was still broken. He took an x-ray of my leg and informed me that the pain in my thigh was due to the fact that a piece of the bone had grown into the muscle while healing and that any kind of surgery was not practical. The pain in my thigh is usually infrequent and weak. The past few days have been an exception. I have been limping a little because of a pain in my thigh that doesn't want to go away yet. It feels as though I'm being stabbed with a very blunt instrument. Nothing like a knife, but rather like a wooden rod with a filed end. I had a little bit of trouble sleeping last night because I couldn't find a comfortabl...

Today is the 12th anniversary of my motorcycle accident. Ayup, right about now they were trying to figure out what to do with me in order to preserve my mortal existence. I have written before on this blog about my desire to donate blood because of the amount of blood that was required to keep me alive in the hospital so many years ago. Between a low iron count, thin veins, and slow flowing blood, I have only been able to donate blood one time over the years since the accident. I have tried countless times, but it has almost always ended in disappointment. Not today. For some reason it was set in my heart that I would try to donate blood today on the anniversary of the accident. I ate food rich in iron this morning and I went to the blood bank after running a couple of errands early in the morning. My iron was really low on the first test, but they warmed up my thumb and I registered two points above the required number on the second test. When they set me up to actually donate it was ...

I've griped before on this blog about recurring pains and hinderances that come and go with my motorcycle accident injuries. It has all become a part of my "regular" life over the past years. I've been very much active physically these past several months and the things that I do are not hindered in such a big way by the things that my body has been making me feel. However, I do clearly notice that the pains and the soreness are becoming more consistent and pronounced with time. As much as I despise the thought of going to see a surgeon about it, there's a persistently nagging feeling in the back of my mind that tells me that a visit to a surgeon within the future is possible. My knee is getting worse and I'm not quite sure as to when it'll be bad enough to finally see someone concerning the need for a full replacement. There are negatives and positives in doing so, you know? It's sometimes difficult enough to deal with life's regular and recurring...

I went to my cardiologist yesterday for an annual checkup visit. He did the usual things with an EKG and a stethoscope. I like the guy enough, but I really see these visits as a waste of time and money...really. The reason that I'm obligated to go is that I have a stent in my aorta placed very close to the heart. It's due to an impact rupture from the motorcycle accident. Still, the visit was filled with questions about how I'm doing and feeling, so hey, it makes me feel as though I'm an important person. He scheduled me for a stress test because I've never taken one. He tried to do one several years ago but my insurance company denied the request. I have a different insurance company now, so we'll see if it actually happens in a few weeks. Otherwise, he says that I'm totally healthy. But, if I'm the epitome of great health and fitness, why the stress test? The world may never know. In the process of being set up for a stress test, I asked him if it invo...

 I've established a routine during weekday mornings in which I get some things ready for my wife and my daughter while they prepare to leave for work. It's just simple things, but it helps to make their mornings a little smoother. Yesterday morning I was getting things ready for them when I stepped on a very small amount of water on the floor in my kitchen. My "accident leg" isn't strong enough to handle things like that when I'm slipping in just the right way, and I went down faster than a dork on a first date. My hands were full so my hip took the full brunt of the landing. The pain was so intense that I initially thought that I had broken it. After a few minutes I stood up and determined to go on with the morning's duties despite some very severe pain. I cleaned the floor, packed the car, drove my wife to work, did some yardwork at the church property, and got dressed at home in order to speak at a graveside funeral service for a church member who died ...

My daughter told me a story about myself the other day. It involved my time in the hospital years ago, just after I had become more coherent. The guy in charge of the church services during my absence was in the hospital room and I apparently told him that I was certain that I would be ready to take charge of the worship services on the upcoming Sunday. At the time I had been kept unconscious for over a week and I had been put through roughly a dozen surgeries. I was physically unable to get out of bed for any reason and I was unable to function physically in any practical way. I could barely speak coherently because my mind was in a drug induced haze and my jaw was wired shut. My daughter said that he gave me a quiet "alright" sort of answer and things moved on. I was obviously not in my right mind, but part of the problem must have stemmed from the fact that I never really think that I'm down for the count in anything that I do. I checked with that same guy the other da...

I had the annual CT scan required to check the stent in my chest a few weeks ago. They called me a week later to let me know that there are no leaks and no movements involved with my stent and that my aorta won't be killing me this year (well, I added that last part). Yup, I am the poster child for stability when it comes to internal chest bleeding. I'll be back to the endocrinologist in a few weeks for blood work, an office visit, and a sonogram. It becomes a little frustrating as I continue to pay one copayment and deductible after another with all of the medical people involved with my healthcare. I sometimes feel as though I'm being taken advantage of by going through procedures and visits that cost the providers very little, but affect my personal budget in a big way. To be truthful, I'd drop every one of them if it wasn't for my desire to make my wife happy. She would freak out if I didn't continue to deal with all of the medical things that I've been ...

This past week I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. He has my blood tested every three months and then has me sit in his examination room while he stares at his computer and comments on the results of the bloodwork. I grow tired of the routine, but it makes my wife happy because she's always concerned about my health as it relates to the aftereffects of the accident injuries. I think that diabetes is the most annoying and unpleasant result that was created by the accident. It controls so many aspects of my life that it's hard to keep track.  The blood test involves about thirty different things that include glucose, kidney function, heart health, and a bunch of things that have to be Googled in order to know what they are. I always have to donate between 5-6 vials of blood along with a container of urine. Yeah, fun stuff. This time around my numbers were particularly good and he told me that it was going to be a quick appointment because I'm a good patient. It'...

There was a period of time after the accident when I felt the need to prove things to the world around me. I sought to establish my victory over all of the adversity and physical setbacks that I was facing. I worked hard to conquer the injuries from my motorcycle accident and always measured each day according to my progress. Unfortunately, I thought that I had to prove to the people around me that I was someone who had overcome the beating that I took with the accident, so I would talk to them about how well I was doing and how fit I had become. Over time, I learned something. What I learned was that I didn't need to prove anything. Not to anyone, and not to myself. I know who I am, what I'm capable of doing, and what it takes to find a sense of satisfaction within my own heart. I once felt that I needed to prove something, but I was wrong. The only thing that I need to prove involves the ability to live life with or without physical progress. I have moved forward with my life...

I have sometimes written on this blog about my inability to sleep well. It's been going on for eleven years now, so no biggie. The latest thing, however, involves discomfort. Yeah, physical inquietude of the body, that's what it is. I have always just laid there staring out, but now I just can't seem to get my body to rest in a comfortable, pain-free way. I have to change my position several times in order to find the proper physical arrangement that grants limited pain and maximum relaxation. It didn't used to be this way. In the past I couldn't sleep, but it was just because...I couldn't fall asleep. Now, I have to spend my time finding a good position in order to optimize the potential for sleep. A "no need to focus on your bod" orientation, if you will. When I wake up in the night, I have to shift things around again in order to stand a chance for further sleep. Tiring? You betcha! Frustrating? Uh-huh... The aftereffects of the motorcycle accident ...

I used to know someone who was in her 80's, and she would tell doctors that she had lived in her body for "x" amount of years, and that she knew her body. She would say this to various medical professionals whenever she felt that they were wrong in their assessment of her condition. This lady was almost always right. She always knew what she was feeling and was able to tell when there was something wrong.  I personally don't always understand the things that the medical community hands to me as a diagnosis when it comes to my health in relation to the various aftereffects of the motorcycle accident. Machines, equipment, and blood tests help doctors to tell me that everything is alright, but my body often tells me that something isn't right. I experience certain pains and noticeable weakness within my hip, knee, and arm that keep signaling to me that there's a problem within, but everyone keeps telling me that I'm fine. One day it all feels OK, and then on ...

Overcoming physical trauma is a tough job. Those of us who are fortunate enough to receive medical attention are given great help toward survival and recovery. Those of us fortunate enough to take part in physical and/or occupational rehabilitation are doubly blessed. Unfortunately, these resources don't often last forever. Such was the case with my recovery from the motorcycle accident. I was basically expelled from the hospital when they realized that I didn't have a lot of financial resources to cover the medical care. I then received rehabilitation help for a couple of months before the insurance coverage ran out. What was left of me was someone who had made a good deal of progress in my recovery, but not nearly in a position to function normally or freely. I couldn't walk well yet, and my overall mobility and physical function was very much limited.  One of the things that I learned when I wound up alone at home for the bulk of each workday was that I had to take charg...