A Simple Analogy

 

I have been asked a few times what it has been like to go through an accident of this magnitude with absolutely no memory of what actually happened. It is a strange thing to have your life affected through injuries in so many ways by something that seemingly “didn’t really happen”. I have been told by several people that it's a blessing for me that I can't remember the trauma of the accident and the immediate aftermath, but that's not actually true. It’s sometimes hard to put everything together in my mind when dealing with the fact that I woke up to a changed body, only to have it develop into a changed life. I think that I can explain it best through a bit of an analogy. I’ll give two scenarios for the sake of contrast.

Scenario #1: A guy meets a woman and after some time they decide to get married. After the marriage ceremony they go through a honeymoon period where everything goes well between them. However, a few months go by and they begin to realize that they have far less in common than they thought. Their disagreements eventually turn into arguments, and their arguments turn into fights. Over time they develop different hobbies, activities, and friends. They’re hardly ever together, and when they are together they fight. They get to a point where they can’t stand to even see one another. The months turn into years, and the years turn into decades. After a seeming eternity within a torturous relationship, one morning the husband wakes up to find his wife standing over their bed. Everything that belongs to her is either in a suitcase or in a box. She has packed all of her cloths, personal items, knickknacks; everything. She says to him, “I’ve wasted enough of my life with this sham of a marriage and I’m leaving now in order to salvage what’s left of my life. The movers will be here within an hour to get my things and you won’t be seeing me again”. The husband lives in shock for a few days but soon realizes that what his wife did makes perfect sense to him. After a short period of time he moves on with his life.

Scenario #2: A guy meets a woman and after some time they decide to get married. After the marriage ceremony they go through a honeymoon period in which everything goes well between them. As time moves on things only get better between them as they discover that they have almost everything in common with one another. They enjoy the same forms of entertainment, they enjoy the same hobbies and friends, and they laugh at the same things and cry at the same things. Over the years they grow closer, more intimate, and more in love with each other as they share life together. The years turn into decades, and their marriage grows sweeter with time. Then one morning the husband wakes up and his wife is nowhere to be found. All of her possessions are completely gone from within the house. Everything that could be considered as belonging to her is gone. Within time he receives no phone call, no text message, no letter, no email; nothing. It becomes clear that she has left him in the night after so many years of wedded bliss without one word of explanation and he is left bewildered.

My accident is Scenario #2. Every day. And there isn’t a thing that I can do about it.