Almost Gone?

                                

I began hearing what has become to me a familiar concept when I was placed in the Stepdown ICU. The nurses worked in shifts and I consequently met many different people within time. Almost every nurse would tell me the same thing soon after meeting me by using one of two words; lucky or miracle. I don’t think that I can possibly count how many times I’ve been told by a medical professional that I should have died in the accident. One nurse in particular attempted to tell me how fortunate I was to be alive as she was leaving my room, but I was so loopy from the drugs that I didn’t respond with any great degree of concern. She then stopped at the door of my room and emphasized that I did not arrive at the hospital in the worse shape of any patient that she had seen, but that I did arrive as part of a small percentage of patients with my level of injuries that actually survived. It was a little surreal.

I experienced something similar during my first appointment with my cardiologist at his office. There was a long wait in the examination room (surprised?) and I sat waiting while conversing with my wife. On two separate occasions workers from his office peered into the door and said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just had to meet the miracle man”. This involved two different people who worked at a medical practice in which cardiac trauma patients are a common sight. I really didn’t know what to say in return.

Once I started attending church services again I had to deal with the same concept. One man who works within the county fire department said that he spoke to the first responders that came to the scene of the accident and had initially helped me, along with the people who worked on me in the helicopter as I was transported to the hospital. He said that they couldn’t believe that I was alive and questioned him about the validity of my survival. He himself seemed to have a difficult time wrapping his mind around the fact that I made it past my injuries alive. His mother-in-law later told me that his fellow firefighters initially offered him their Kelly Days in order for him to deal with his pastor’s death and funeral.

There is also a retired police officer in our church and he went to visit the officer that dealt with my accident. When he inquired about the details of what had happened and then stated that I was alive, the officer who responded to my accident didn’t believe that I had survived and in essence told my friend that he was lying. My friend invited him to come to one of our church services in order for him to see the proof standing at the pulpit.

My brother-in-law experienced something similar a few years after the accident when he ran into a young man working at a store who we both had known when he was a younger boy. The young man mentioned me to my brother-in-law because it turned out that his father had been working in the trauma center that I was treated in and came home on the night of the accident to tell his son that he had seen me in the ER as a patient. He told his son that I wasn’t going to make it. The young man rejoiced to hear from my brother-in-law that I had lived and looked forward to telling his father that evening at home.

The concept of “almost dying” is a strange thing to me. I fully understand that we are fragile beings and I know that our mortality is not meant to be seen as an eternally perpetual state of existence. In fact, the Bible tells us in James 4:14, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” My thought is this; if I truly serve a sovereign God and He ultimately decides when and where regarding the extent and ultimate end of my mortal existence, then I didn’t “almost die”. He intended to allow my injuries to occur for a reason but never intended for me to die. I do not believe in luck, nor do I believe in things almost happening. God never intended for me to die in that traffic accident. Hence, I did get beat up badly, but I didn’t “almost die”. My death just wasn’t meant to be.

My sense of peace regarding issues such as this can be found through the Bible in verses such as Philippians 1: 21, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” The Apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, stated plainly that if he remained alive then his life was centered on the love and assurance found in Jesus Christ. He had an assurance of Christ’s loving work despite all of the adversity that he faced within his lifetime. He was able to face each challenge and trial with the knowledge of Christ’s atoning work and daily presence in his life. He then stated that if his life were to end it could only be a source of personal gain because his soul would stand in the direct presence of the Savior within the glories of heaven. Simply stated, life is good because of Christ, and death is good because of Christ. I often quoted this Bible verse to the nurses in the hospital because this same assurance exists within my heart through my faith in Christ as Savior. Long ago I believed in His atoning work on the cross for my sins and called upon Him by faith for salvation. Jesus grants salvation to all who believe in His forgiveness and the redeeming work accomplished by Him on the cross. The grace of God in Christ grants to me an assurance of my eternal destiny and also allows for me a life on this earth that is filled with peace and joy. I didn’t “almost die”, but I do look forward to seeing my Savior face to face one day. Consequently, I am not tormented by the past and I do not fear the future. Jesus Christ provides the blessings of eternal life and daily strength.

Please don’t ever allow adversity to kill you internally while your body remains alive. The Lord allows for victory beyond adversity, and living beyond simply existing. We are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

“Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim.”

       “(Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.)”   

-Ovid