My Motorcycle Injuries

I experienced some fairly intense nightmares and hallucinations during the first week and a half of my time in the hospital. To this day I can only remember a few fragmented minutes of reality from that time period, but I remember the nightmares and hallucinations vividly. The strangest thing about them is the fact that I never remembered dreams before the accident; never. The last dream that I remembered before the accident dated back to when I was about twelve years old. Since then I would sleep soundly at night and wake up in the morning without any memory of the things that my mind had worked out through the night. This has changed completely since the accident. I now remember dreams often when I awake. I always forget the content of these dreams soon after, but I do remember them upon waking. It’s a fairly big adjustment for me because it has changed the way in which I function mentally after more than four decades. It’s a strange thing to have my subconscious thoughts played out ...

I visited a physical therapy center today. A member of our church is staying there for a few weeks in order to recover from recent surgery. I visited with her for a while and left when one of her therapists came into the room to start the morning therapy session. It all seemed very familiar to me as I passed by the main therapy room and saw the type of equipment that I became accustomed to using. There is a strap that is placed around an individual’s torso when taking part in physical therapy and I saw many of those familiar fashion accessories as I walked through the halls. Later in the day I purchased a few 36 packs of soda for my wife at Costco. As I unloaded them at home I took the same route going in and out that I took as I entered the house when initially coming home from the hospital after the accident. Between the path that I was taking at my house and the time spent at the therapy center earlier, my mind went back to the day when I returned home after being in the hospital an...

I started the day by watching the local news. It’s been raining a lot lately, and today was going to be busy with all of the church services, so I wanted to see what the rain would be doing for the sake of convenience. There was an interview on the news with a guy who was speaking about this being “trauma awareness week”. I had no idea, but then again, who did? This guy was talking about the various ways in which trauma victims should cope with the things that they have gone through. Quite honestly, it all seemed a bit simplistic to me, but he was trying to be a helpful expert, so more power to him. In my morning message I gave a sermon illustration that involved talking about the amount of metal in my body (no worries, I’ll not be preaching in this post). I clearly got the impression that the illustration made perfect sense to everyone and that the purpose of the illustration was served well, but also that there wasn’t a whole lot of relating to it in a personal way regarding individu...

I headed out today for a while in order to do a few things at the office and run a few errands for work. One of those errands involved the need to visit a member of the church in a hospital. As the pastor of a church I’m called upon to make my share of visits to various hospitals in our county. The hospital that I visited today is located near my church and as I drove toward the visit I experienced a slowdown in traffic that was the result of an accident up ahead. It turned out to be a motorcycle accident. The road that I was on is the same road on which my accident occurred, roughly a mile away from the exact location. It looked as though there were no other vehicles involved, and the rider didn’t seem to have serious injuries. He was sitting up on the road while speaking to someone and his bike was upright on its kickstand. It looked to me as though he took a sliding dive on a turn. He was banged up, but he seemed to be “OK” in general. Several people, including a police officer, wer...

The Move I walk amidst the present circumstance At times to search, at times to plainly see And though I strive to reach beyond this trance The whole remains as a dim memory   I’ll go, I know, to times as yet unseen It’s there that fate upholds my hidden vein Though deeper still lies every lasting mean The past is just a thing that must remain                                                                                                 -Lazarus

I’ve been at it again. We’ve been doing some home improvement projects to get our house in better shape. I had to bring everything of this nature to an abrupt halt four years ago when I wrecked my bike and pretty much wrecked my body with it. My wife and I had plans, but they all fell by the wayside as we focused on getting my body to recover. We have started to get several projects going on the house, with some things handled by hired professionals and other things handled by me. I have spent the past week working on things such as the installation of an outside door with a new frame, tons of landscaping, installing outdoor lights, and a bunch of other things that I won’t bore you with. In the end, I’m just sort of wiped out physically. Between the repairs and running several errands, my body has been fighting back in a harsh way. My wife has wanted these things done, and I have a hard time saying “no”. I always feel that she should have better things in this world than a guy who just...

So yeah, I’ve mentioned in the past my inability to sleep properly since the accident. It was getting better a few months ago, but things have regressed a bit. It’s currently Tuesday morning around eleven. Last night I went to bed at 11:30 and I woke up around 3:00. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so after laying there for about 45 minutes I got up and did some work. I usually have something that I can be doing and it wasn’t hard to get things started for the day. I honestly don’t go to bed thinking about problems or unfinished business, but I wake up far too soon and can’t seem to get back to sleep. It was a bit worse the first couple of years after I came home from the hospital. I would lie down in bed for the night and remain awake for hours. I would then finally fall asleep and wake up within an hour or two. Over the years my sleep patterns have fluctuated, but the actual time spent asleep has remained pretty grim. However, the past few months have been different. I’ve been able to f...