Little By Little

 I spent the first few years after the motorcycle accident getting better. The changes in my body progressed slowly, but they were noticeable almost weekly. It was always encouraging to notice the subtle changes and to know that I was getting better as time progressed. I noticed changes in my leg and my hand, along with my energy and strength. As I think back on that time, it was really a great thing to gauge the healing progress and to enjoy the thought that I was on my way to recovery and a more "normal" life.

At some point I hit a plateau. Things were not as they were before the accident, but I had gained a lot of ground physically and I was functioning pretty well. I still experienced a degree of pain on a daily basis, and I did have some limits in my ability to do certain things, but I enjoyed the level of recovery that I was experiencing and I resigned myself mentally to the fact that this was the body that I would live with as I moved forward in life.

I'm now at a very different phase. No more progress, and no more stability. I am indeed experiencing slow changes, but they're changes that are directed toward a decline in my physical condition. The bones and joints that were affected by the accident injuries continue to get worse. Quality of life issues that involve flexibility, strength, and energy are slowly diminishing. Nothing is occurring overnight, but it does involve gradual changes over time that become noticeable within the span of a few months. Things are getting worse at a pace that is not equal to the pace at which they once became better, but it does involve changes for the worse nonetheless. 

It seems so odd to me as I watch things getting worse little by little after experiencing nearly the same pace toward healing. In the end I know that it's all a part of the process, but I have to admit that it all leaves me wondering where I'll be in the end.