The Ball Is In My Court

 

Every once in a while something is said to me that sets my mind in a direction that leaves me a little surprised at my thought process.

This afternoon I was at a family birthday function and my daughter got into a conversation with me about tomorrow's church services. She wasn't sure if the building would be cold or hot, so she asked me about the weather forecast in order to dress properly. She was trying to figure out what she would be wearing because she plays the piano and there are a lot of lights that generate heat in the area where she plays. Consequently, it gets hotter up there than the majority of the auditorium. In response I told her that I'm never hot in the church building, even while I'm belting out a sermon.

Before the accident I never got cold during any part of the day, but since the accident I'm often cold to the point of serious discomfort. Because of this she asked me if I didn't feel hot during the church services "even before the accident". She was just trying to gauge if I was talking about my post-accident body temp, or the more normal years before the accident when I was never cold.

The conversation set me to thinking about the fact that I had to consider the answer carefully before I could respond to her question. It's been ten years since the accident, and I couldn't remember if I was hot when I preached during the many years before the accident. It saddens me to some extent that I couldn't remember clearly some of the things related to the time before the accident. It bothers me that I had to give it some thought in order to remember how things were for me physically before the accident changed my body in so many ways. At this stage of my life I've lived a lot of years, but I seem to be settling into a mindset where the "post-accident" me has become the "exclusive and normal" me. 

The injuries related to this accident of mine have become so incredibly prominent within my daily existence, yet there's far more to my life than the past ten years. The problem is that I'm not really certain how to train my mind to think that way with any great sense of consistency. Still, I know that I need to change things because I'm the only one who can.