Tired

Today was a little busy for me. I mentioned previously in a blog entry (see here) that I thought I had a new incisional hernia. It turns out that I do. I’m not certain that I can fully describe how much I hate that this has happened. It seems that every time I gain some ground on recovering my body from the aftereffects of my accident, it’s my body that actually takes itself back. I don’t mind progressing one step at a time; honest. I’ve been doing it for five years now. It’s just that every once in a while my body steals a bunch of those steps away from me and I’m stuck dealing with the need to gain it all back again. It’s like cleaning up after a flood and having the river rise again the next morning.

Anyway, after having come to terms with the reality of this latest accident related thrill, I told my wife this morning about the hernia. She was unhappy with me for not telling her sooner, and there was no way for me to properly explain to her what it took for me to come to terms with another accident related injury. I know that I must keep fighting, but I feel as though I keep waking up to the same round. It can be both disheartening and frustrating at the same time. I feel bad about not telling my wife sooner, but we’re honestly cool with each other now and life must go on.

I found out this morning that my old hernia surgeon has stopped doing hernia surgeries, so I found a new guy on the internet. It’s odd to me how we can read a few pages about someone and make a determination to choose that person for the sake of life-altering procedures. I guess it’s just the way things are in what has become our world. I made an appointment for early next month so I’ll see what happens from there.

His office person (um, what else should I call the individual answering the phone? Telehelper?) told me that I needed to get some information regarding the original surgeries performed at the hospital directly after the accident, so my wife and I drove to the hospital and spent some time getting all of that together. I read through it at home, and I actually wish that I hadn’t. It took me to places that I didn’t necessarily want to go. Between dealing with things this morning, going to the hospital this afternoon to see people and places that I haven’t seen since I was really sick, and then reading about the things that were done to me five years ago, I’ve got to be honest in saying that I’ve had enough of the motorcycle accident for the day.

It’s currently just past midnight. I went to bed last night at midnight and I woke up at 3 a.m. Consequently, I’m really tired and the events of the day have me looking forward to seeing the inside of my eyelids for many hours. If God allows, I’ll get a full night’s sleep and wake in the morning knowing what I’ve always known; that He’s in charge and everything will work out to my eventual benefit. I still have to speak to my sister-in-law about my scheduled time to take care of her newborn baby five weeks from now, but that’s not tonight’s problem. It will work out.

I know that this has been a long post but hey, at least I didn’t complain about the Red Sox not having a closer yet. Wait…d’oh!