My Unfiltered Mood For The Day

I finally had the surgery this past Wednesday. It was performed early in the morning and I was home before noon. The surgeon told my wife that everything went well. I expected to be past the worst of any pain or discomfort within a couple of days, but that hasn’t been the case. I was in some fairly debilitating pain for the first two days, and I’ve experienced really annoying pain since then. I didn’t attend church services yesterday, and I’m trying to lay low today. My wife and daughter were home all last week, but they are both back to work today. I promised that I would behave while they’re gone today, so here I am behaving.

It frustrates me to some extent that I have to go through all of this. I honestly believed that my recovery would be simpler and quicker (recovery was far simpler the last time that I had an incisional hernia). The last one was higher on my waist, but I thought that this one would be the same nonetheless. I was wrong. The pain has been severe at times, but not so much today. I am past the worst of this and I anticipate that I’ll be able to function in a better way by tomorrow.

The problem today isn’t a new one. The thing is that every once in a rare while this whole accident related injuries thing catches up to me. It’s not just my body, although sometimes it feels as though the condition of my body should be enough of an issue. It actually involves different factors such as people, obligations, situations…whatever. Every once in a while there are different factors that pile up, but my physical condition is so prevalent that it becomes the main focus of complaint. There’s always a host of things that compose a given day’s mindset; it’s just that on rare occasions the negative stuff winds up pointing back to my body and all of the things that have been altered in my life because of the long-term aftereffects of the accident. In any case it results in a mental funk that makes for a not-so-good day. In short, I’m in a bad mood. The surgeon told me that I would be completely free to lift and strain within four weeks after the procedure, but I get tired of being a patient and I get tired of hindrances to my concept of a normal life.

I was sort of blindsided by the pain after this surgery, and at one point I actually considered asking for a stronger pain medication. It turned out that I stopped taking anything for pain after three days. I’m ready to move past this, and I need my body to cooperate. I really am tired of being anything but healthy, but it remains that this is a part of having been in a major motorcycle accident. The bottom line is that I’m sick of this day and tomorrow will yield a better mood. I’ve been told that I’m human, and days like this help to prove it.