Loss

I lost a member of the church today to death. She was 84 years old, but a very strong woman with a desire to live. She had worked as a nurse before retiring many years ago. She had suffered many health setbacks throughout her life and had battled things such as heart problems and cancer, but she overcame all of it many times over. She was tough. Throughout the years I had visited her many times in hospitals and rehab centers, and I consequently grew to know her better than I ordinarily would have. She had a great deal of regard for the office of the pastor and always treated me with far more respect than I deserved.

I have had to do the funeral services of many church members over the years, and I will be doing her service sometime in the near future. I spoke to her husband and sister earlier today and they will let me know what is needed from me on Monday. These things never come easy for me because it almost always involves people that I know and love, and in a sense I cannot grieve normally because as a pastor it’s my responsibility to present a very solid spiritual perspective concerning a very carnal loss.

I don’t really understand why some of us live and some of us die. I just know that everyone has a specific time and we are all held accountable to that given rule. Only God knows beyond that. I thought of my wife today, and what she must have gone through when the medical people were so negative about the possibility of my death after the accident. She says that she never doubted my survival, and I believe her. It’s just that I could have died, and she would have been left to sort through the aftermath. I guess the lesson remains that we are all made subject to the rules of life and death; that we have to live each day for what it presents and do the best we can with what we have according to the promises and guidance of God. Before the accident I always thought that I’d live forever. The subsequent years have continued to teach me that I’m as frail or resilient as the grace of God allows.

I grieve for the loss of this woman who passed away this morning, but I know that her place in Glory is immeasurably better than the things that she had to endure on this earth. I hope that I will always continue to keep my eyes on the Lord despite accidents and injuries, challenges and losses, and all that life brings. In any case I’ll see my friend in Heaven soon enough.