It Wasn't That Good

I went off of my diabetic diet last week for a couple of days in order to celebrate my birthday. I never deviate from my diet for anything, including Thanksgiving and Christmas. My birthday is pretty much it for culinary indulgence. I ate several things that I ordinarily can’t eat, along with eating in bulk. I never get to do the mass quantities thing and I found that in the end it wasn’t that big a deal. I maintain the fantasy of breaking my diet almost every day, but in reality it turned out to be a little, well, blah.

I’m thinking that maybe everything having to do with the limitations caused by my accident injuries is sort of the same way. I’m thinking that maybe the things that I’ve lost have become things that I long for because I can’t have any of it…my “old” body, the freedom to ride, better health and strength; all of it. Maybe it’s something that I long for because I absolutely cannot have it. Perhaps the lesson learned is that I should do the best I can with what I have and move forward day by day without any sense of loss. Perhaps I should stop feeling as though something has been stolen from me along with feeling that I want it returned to me. Maybe it’s best to know that getting back what is lost might not be quite as good as I think, along with knowing that what is best for me is the gift of life and the ability to enjoy each day for what it is now, as opposed to what I think it could or should be. Perhaps the greater gifts are found within the knowledge, wisdom, and strength that is gained through accumulated experiences. Pleasant or unpleasant, every event and circumstance should add to our ultimate benefit, yes?

You know, I’m thinking that healing involves far more than a body.