Christmas is coming soon. I actually celebrate the holiday twice every year. We spend Christmas Eve with my side of the family and Christmas day with my wife’s side of the family. My side of the family isn’t too much centered on eating, but my wife’s side of the family likes to eat throughout the day. We get together for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with assorted snacks in-between. I really don’t eat much at either house anymore, but we do have a nice time together. My diabetes was caused by damage done to my pancreas in the accident. It wasn’t diagnosed for well over two years, but now I am able to manage it well.
Still, it has caused me to lose about 50 lbs. to date. I Initially thought that the weight loss would be temporary, but it has lasted for a year and a half now and it doesn’t seem to be affected at all by anything that I eat. I weigh now roughly what I did in high school. It’s been strange wearing clothes that hadn’t fit me properly for years. Although I had to stop wearing several of my suits because they were far too big of a fit after the weight loss, many of my other clothes hadn’t been worn in years and were ready to be tossed because they were too small on me before the weight loss. Consequently, it now feels as though I have a new wardrobe. Unfortunately, at this point I have lost most of my desire to eat. I should state (as I have elsewhere on this blog) that I’m an extremely picky, nay, weird eater. I don’t eat many of the things that other people eat. That’s the picky part. The weird part is that I can eat in ways that would seem unhealthy and downright strange to some folks.
For instance, I’m due to eat dinner in a couple of hours. Diabetes or not, if I had my choice according to my present mood I’d just as soon eat a full box of Captain Crunch cereal and wash it down one mouthful at a time with milk. I like to eat cereal by hand out of the box with a glass of milk on the side for a swig with each mouthful. I cannot do this any more because of diabetes, but it would make for a great dinner tonight if it were allowed.
My eating instead is now restricted to a protein and carbohydrate mix within each meal. It sounds nice enough, I’m certain, but the problem lies in the fact that I don’t eat most of the recipes that make the mix more interesting. Consequently, eating has become more of a task than a pleasure. My wife has tried to make things better for me (she’s a really good cook), but the problem lies within me and my eating habits. These days I eat primarily for the sake of survival as opposed to pleasure. It’s all just a part of the things related to my motorcycle accident that have to be dealt with on a daily basis. I must admit that there are times when I get frustrated with the aftereffects of the accident. The inability to change any of it leaves me feeling as though I’ve been robbed of things that will remain irretrievable forever. It kinda stinks, to be honest.
Before the accident, Christmas was a time for all kinds of candy, cookies, deserts, and cocoa. I always looked forward to several days (OK, weeks) of eating all of the things that are traditionally considered as being holiday indulgences. Now it’s just another day in which proteins and carbs are carefully measured and ingested. But hey, maybe something under the tree will help to make up for it all.
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