...But Fear Itself.

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I mentioned a while back that I’ve volunteered to help take care of my new niece. I had her for about a month a while back ago, and within another week I’ll have her on a more permanent basis. She’ll be with me for eight or nine hours a day, Monday thru Friday. I’ve had roughly two months off from taking care of her, but soon it all goes into overdrive.

I try not to worry about things a whole lot, but I have to admit that I am concerned about this. I want to help with this baby (she’s now 6 months old), but I’m a little concerned about my health and strength as I prepare to take on what I know to be a huge responsibility. It’s currently 6:30 in the afternoon, and I feel somewhere between sleep deprived and drugged. The problem is that I slept OK last night and I’m drug-free. This goes on most days since the accident, and it often starts in the late morning. I fear that I won’t have the physical energy and stamina to take on the responsibility of doing right by this kid.

I guess that in the end I have to trust that things will work out according to the grace and guidance of God. There’s no way to really deal with this commitment aside from going forward and taking on each day with a determination to succeed. The things that I’ve had to overcome within the past five years because of the motorcycle accident were no different; at least I keep telling myself that. It really has been a daily battle, and the challenges will now have to continue. Well, with added barf and drool stains on my clothes.


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